She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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