You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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