My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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