Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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