I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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