Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
