im six kinds of drunk right now
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
