so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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