so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
