So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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