Only a mothe r could love this liver
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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