She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
