So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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