Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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