I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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