what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
