Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
