I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
