we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm both gender and math confused
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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