so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
