i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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