So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
