my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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