i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
