Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
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So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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