I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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