you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's even glitter on my cock...
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