Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
