roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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