Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
