did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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