Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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