I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize