Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
