well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
love makes seman taste better
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
