I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
