I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
