Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
