I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
