Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
