He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
