what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
