You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize