dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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