We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Randomize
