I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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