My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
