You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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