i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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