Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Holy sore nipples Batman
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
