We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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