You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
wat bout pragnant strippers??
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
