the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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