You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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