New low: just hacked my moms facebook
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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