you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
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apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
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So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices