in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits