I'm an idiot
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
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you will always have a special place in my vag
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
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You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy