Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."