I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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