you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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