He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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