Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
