i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
