I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
