You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
