i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
