He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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