and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
