? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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